This is the time of year for my annual “things I’m grateful for” post. If any of you have actually been following my journey this year it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you when I say I haven’t been looking forward to this post. I have had a tough year. I’m not going to relive it for you, because I already did that in a previous post. I was concerned that I wasn’t going to be able to find things to be all that thankful for. But then I did some thinking and it occurred to me that I should probably remove my head from my ass and truly focus up. Well, I did just that and I came up with a few things to thank my very lucky stars for.
First and foremost, my family. I think everyone would agree with me when I say it’s been a growing year and we’re all doing the very best we can. A very special shoutout goes to my parents for being the most supportive and loving people anyone could hope to meet. They make me crazy because I am them and they are me. But they offered all of the love and none of the judgment when I told them I was moving back home. Which is the perfect segue into my next Thing. I have had many roofs over my head this year and I honestly don’t know what I would have done without those who took in not only me, but my beautiful, anxiety-ridden dog. We are an emotional duo and it’s not always easy to deal with us so even though Penny doesn’t always know how to show it, she is very grateful as well. There’s something that we’re told all our lives and I never truly understood it until I lived it recently, and it’s that you never really know who your true friends are until your life is spinning completely out of control. The people who show up to help stop the spinning are the people you want to keep around. I saw this play out in front of my own eyes several times this year and it sucked. It was great to see who cares but it truly sucked to find out who just did not give a fuck.
Ok, enough about other people, let’s focus on some Personal Growth! I was having a difficult time thinking back on everything because hey, it’s hard to remind yourself of crappy things that happened to you, but then it hit me. Somewhere in the last twelve (eh maybe like sixteen) months, I found a little bit more of myself. For the first time, I have a clear idea of my career goals and I am actually working towards them. I have people and a person that I love more than I thought I ever could, and even when that person made me realize that I can be pretty selfish sometimes, like crazy selfish, I still loved them. That’s a big thing to be thankful for. It’s because of this person that I’ve come to realize how forgiving and resilient I can be. These are words that I have never used to describe myself. Ever. I’ve been pushed and pulled in so many directions that I sometimes feel like a piece of Laffy Taffy. But not the banana kind, the good kind. Basically, I’ve done a complete 180. I used to be afraid of telling people how I felt, whether it was good or bad, but now I can’t shut up about it. So if I like you, you’ll know. If I love you, you definitely know. And if I can’t stand you, you’ll never know because I am a WONDERFUL ACTRESS, so joke’s on you!
Look, I’m not going to gush about my glamorous life anymore. I’m just going to leave you with this picture of what I’m most thankful for.
Also thankful for this budding friendship.